2 Questions to Ask Yourself When Someone is Mad at You

Sitting with someone else's hurt feelings or anger towards you is tough. Especially when it's warranted. 

If someone is angry at you for a silly or unjustified reason, then it's much easier to brush off. But, when you're in the wrong, it can cue feelings of intense guilt, or worse, shame.  

In these situations, it can help to try to separate the other person’s feelings from their behaviour. For example, let's say you did something wrong. You are, after all, human so you're going to make mistakes.

Ask yourself "are their feelings valid?" This encourages self-reflection and accountability. 

Next, ask yourself "are they coping with their emotions in a healthy way?" If they're lashing out, or freezing you out indefinitely, then this is an unhealthy way to handle an emotion, which of course, you can't change nor are you responsible for how they handle their emotions and reactions. 

You can (and should) offer your apology and remorse, own your part, and if it's appropriate, open up the channels of communication. But that's it. That's all you get to do. They get to react however they want, and they can do so without you shaming yourself.