3 Characteristics of Toxic Friendships
We often read about toxic romantic relationships, but abuse can exist in friendships as well. Toxic friendships are codependent unhealthy relationships between friends, and they can make a significant impact on your mental health and wellbeing.
Like romantic relationships, toxic friendships have moments of bliss. There might be times when where you feel you’ve found an amazing BFF who truly understands you. This ‘honeymoon phase’ can make assessing the nature of your relationship very confusing and difficult.
But overtime, toxic friendships reveal themselves to be isolating, codependent, and unhealthy.
Here are three common traits of toxic friendships. This list isn’t exhaustive, and if you think you might be in an unhealthy friendship, I would encourage you to seek support.
Intense jealousy
A little jealousy in friendships is normal. But, jealousy is an emotion that should be met with internal exploration (why do I feel this way? Is this triggering an insecurity I have? etc). It’s not an excuse to impose your insecurities on another person through restrictive rules or isolation. If you have a friend who is often jealous of your friendships with other people and they look to you to manage that feeling, then this is an helpful dynamic.
Isolation
Unhealthy friends want to isolate other people in order to create dependency on them and the relationship. Isolation might look like: not allowing you to be alone with other people, discouraging you from other friendships, and creating conflict in your existing relationships by spreading gossip or lies.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a big red flag in any friendship. Through gaslighting, an unhealthy friend might manipulate you into questioning your own memory (even when you know it’s right), call into question your ability to reason, and sometimes, make you worry about your grip on reality.
If your gut is telling you that you might be in an unhealthy friendship, then seek support. You can also work on setting boundaries around the relationship and taking time away from the friendship.
We fall into these toxic friendships for a variety of reasons, and they are rarely ‘black-and-white’, which makes seeing the red flags challenging.
Just remember, you deserve to be in a friendship that makes you feel good about yourself. One that is supportive and one that encourages you to build more healthy relationships in your life, not less.